Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
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7:39 pm
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I havent updated in a while. It feels really weird to.
Summer has been really fantastic but coming to an end way too soon. I leave for Syracuse on the 24th and I have very mixed feelings. I am of course psyched to go but on the other hand am terrified about everything I'm leaving. I've never moved in my life and I haven't not seen Jesse for this long ever in the past 17 months.
Thinking about leaving my family and my best friend behind has brought me to tears every day for the past month and I just want to make the best of the next 9 days.
When I was younger I always thought even numbers were better and less scary than odd numbers. I outgrew this thought but I have come to find that this theory applies well to numbers of people.
I'm tight on time but I want to see people before I go...
INCOMING SENIORS: If I can give you any advice: relax and make the best of your last year at South. It should be an amazing year. Spend it being nice to everybody and sticking to the people who ALWAYS make you happy- dont waste it feeling sad or stressed and competitive with college shit cause it WILL work out fine.
current mood:  lazy
current music: dont speak, no doubt
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Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
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10:17 pm
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today during vanessa's WISE presentation, she talked about how it's so sad that this is our last week of high school and how photo is one more thing she has to leave. i dont think i have ever held back tears so forcefully.
it's weird because ive processed the fact that this is the last week and that prom and graduation are around the corner. ive come to terms with the fact that come august 24th im out of here and while im going to miss jesse and all of my close friends, i know we will stay extremely tight.
but every single time i think about leaving photo, i just start crying. granted, i slacked with my actual photography work from the very beginning of junior year. the photo LAB though, that place, has been more of a home away from home than any other place in the world. more than israel, more than new york, more than jesse's and michelle's and becky's houses. (no offence, i love running to all of your houses) i cant even imagine not going there on a regular basis anymore. it has been the one place i have always felt at ease and always felt surrounded by people who i loved and people who loved me. i dont care how fucking cliche or corny i sound.
now im crying. i cant keep going. only the real photo rats get it.
peacing out in tears.
p.s. if i asked you interviewing questions, you actually have to answer!!!
current mood:  crushed
current music: death cab
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Thursday, May 25th, 2006
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9:05 pm - answering vanessa's questions
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1. what is your favorite jesse-related memory?
On july 7th, jesse and I were hanging out in my car at night outside his house. we were listening to "moondance," and Jesse had never said I love you. The song kept saying "my love, my love, my love" and he kept asking "am i your love? are you my love?" I got mad at him because I said it was a huge tease to say that and not the real thing. Then a few minutes later, we were leaning against my car and he said "So I'm not allowed to say ily and my love. What do you want me to say? I love you? Cause I love you." And that was the first time ever. It was perfect.
2. what makes you angriest?
Terrorist attacks in Israel.Friends who dont act like friends.Jesse never skipping french to hang out with me. Kopcke. Getting rejected from nyu. Being far away from Jesse next year.
3. what makes you happiest?
Being smitten. Being held. Feeling loved. Orgasms. Friends who do act like friends.
4. what are you most nervous about for next year?
Making new friends. Not wanting to drink every single night even though syracuse is a huge party school. Jesse meeting new girls. Me meeting new guys.
5. what is your biggest regret?
I try not to regret because I dont see the point. But I guess it would be not working as hard in photo as I could have and not sticking with the theater program even though the new younger kids were making it something different that was not as amazing and cool as it was my freshman and sophomore years.
FEEL FREE TO ASK TO BE INTERVIEWED.
Vanessa, Am I supposed to interview you now?
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Saturday, May 20th, 2006
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4:02 pm - FUN take my mind off of sickness thing:)
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1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME : (first pet and current street name)
-> Bubbles Brierfield
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME : (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy.)
-> Hanna Milkyway
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME : (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
-> S Po
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME : (favorite animal, favorite color)
-> Kitten Pink
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME : (middle name, city where you were born)
-> NMN Boston
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME : (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
-> PorLehBub
7. JEDI NAME : (middle name spelled backwards, your grandpa's name on your father's side spelled backwards)
-> nmnmuhcan
8. SUPERHERO NAME : ("The," your favorite color, the automobile you drive or your parents drive)
-> The Pink Camry
Looks like I'm missing out on the whole middle name thing...
current mood:  sick
current music: Calling You, Aqua
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Sunday, April 30th, 2006
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3:22 pm
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I haven't had this big of a bad mood- good mood- horrible mood, mood swing in a while
fuck the world
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Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
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3:11 am
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There was a cop car chase on jesse's street tonight. im gonna go ahead and say it was hella awesome.
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Friday, April 21st, 2006
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12:56 am
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I'm writing from my sister's apartment in new york right now. I found a prom dress and I am SO excited about it. The first dress I tried on was stunning; it was gold and very fairy tale goddess style. BUT it was $400, not exactly what I was looking for, and I couldnt get myself to buy the first dress I tried on. So we searched high and low in every vintage store, chic boutique, and styly shop this city has to offer and found nothing. We were about to go back to buy the other dress but then stopped at loehmann's on the way. There, I found my prom dress for only $34. Thats right folks and it is gorgeous, exactly what i was looking for and hot damn I got a bargain! yayyyyyyyy
In other news, I visited syracuse and looks like thats where I am totally officially going. While thats exciting, its too damn scary to think about.
Finally, I have decided to seriously do as much as I can to help prevent/slow down/lessen the degree of global warming. I got a huge scare tonight and just ahhh. It all started with a huge fear of what is going to happen to my body when I die and then when the world ends. I realize these are not normal anxiety attacks to be getting but I am, so again, ahhhhhh.
goodNight
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Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
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8:26 pm
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I would love nothing more than to erase the last week and sleep through the next four years.
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Sunday, March 26th, 2006
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9:47 pm - Second time around
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I have decided to do this again, only it will be SOLEY nice things this time. Im a bitch for what I did the first time, so here it goes. Mostly different people, so dont try to guess- I think you will be wrong.
1) I wish I had the sense of adventure that you do. You know how to still be a kid and god knows more teenagers need this. I'm sorry.
2) You are stunning. I wish I took interest in things in the same degree and manner that you do. You give real advice, not that general useless crap.
3) I envy your body from head to toe. You have an extremely special way of caring for people you love; dont let anybody take advantage of this. You always stay very much yourself.
4) You are the most spectacular woman on this planet. I fight with you a lot, but you have done more for me than anybody combined on this entire planet. I wish I could handle life the way that you do; everybody I know respects you greatly.
5) You are my greatest source of inspiration for how I wish to live my life. You grab life and people who piss you off by the balls and make sure that you are always doing the right thing.
6) If our love is an ocean that im drowning more and more in the deeeeeeepest end. oh wait oops, I told you that last night. Im nervous you wont like what I got you for your birfday. Thanks for the most amazing year of my life ever.
7) I wish I saw more of you cause I always feel so safe around you and we always have an amazing time. You're somebody I truly trust and respect and youre just too damn gangsta to ever lose. God ive known you for a long time.
8) I miss you so much. You give a shit about me more than anybody. YOU are going to be that person who is there for me until my fucking last breath.
9) I think you are one of the most genuine guys left on this planet. Keep being fun and funny and keep on being great to her.
10) I've never had a dull night with you so its a shame we dont hang out as much anymore. Youre hilarious and by far one of my favorite people.
Happy birthday in an hour and 20 minutes, boo!
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Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
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11:20 pm - 1 year
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In 40 minutes it will be Jesse and my 1 year anniversary: HOLLER!! I kept up an amazing relationship for a whole entire year and I am damn proud of it.
About 1 year ago (1 year and 3 days to be exact):
and nowish:
I guess we look pretty much the same but that doesnt mean Im not super excited!!!!
woooooo a whole year:):):):):)
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Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
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7:00 pm - ten things thing even though i wasnt officially tagged
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Nobody tagged me but Im doing it anyways. I assume I do this about anybody-not necessarily people who have a livejournal.
Ten Things/More Than Ten Things
-List ten things you want to say to people but you know you never will.
-Don't say who they are, use people only once.
-Tag at least 3 other people who you want to do this. (3 people who are reading this and haven't done it and feel like doing it)
1. You make me feel inadequate and I dont think you deserve half the things you get. You're control hungry and its creepy. Also, you always try and justify the side I hate. You're only respectful to people you want something from.
2. I love you to death but sometimes you treat me like an ignorant child and it bothers me.
3. Stop yelling and complaining all the time. And just being a bitch.
4. This is going to sound very middle school but YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS AND I DID. I HATE that people are enjoying it and that I have to hear about it. You didnt fit the required criteria and while you seem nice enough, I can not bring myself to get over this. Although, I guess its not your fault.
5. Sometimes, I simply cannot figure out what was appealing about you and other times I cringe because I remember.
6. It took me 6 months to get over you even though you treated me like shit.
7. YOURE AN ASSHOLE. You have treated people close to me like shit and for that I wont forgive you. People act different around you and that sucks.
8. I wrote a long letter about this which helped me vent but in short: please dont let somebody else down like you let me down.
9. We drifted apart and I blame mostly myself and the rest on just nature. It makes me really happy to see you happy and I've never seen you this independent and Im damn proud of you for it. Lets be friends forever,ok?
10. I hooked up with your best friend at the most inappropriate time.
11. I have already said this to you but thinking about being away from you next year puts me to sleep in tears every night. I love you. also, YOURE UGLY.
Even though I wasnt tagged for this and just decided to do it for venting purposes, I tag: Michelle, Vanessa, and Jenna
(Becky and Jesse were already tagged by Wes but they should do it tooooo)
pizeace
current mood:  blah
current music: What If- Coldplay (my favorite song right now)
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Thursday, March 9th, 2006
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12:53 pm - pictures from israel
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us infront of jerusalem view
saw quite a few of these in the desert
cool shaped rocks in the desert
jesse climbing in the desert
lift in the desert
eating after the trail
shuk in yafo
jesse found something to play with...
and then some more stuff.
jesse in yafo infront of his horoscope sign and in the back beside the ocean you can see tel-aviv
me, jesse, and my gramma on some stairsss
jesse, my cousin adva, and me in the shuk in jerusalem
pretty picture of us in the christianish area in jerusalem
last day at the beach
arent i pathetic? s+j in the sand
probably the coolest picture ever- taken from a swing looking down
chocky the air force army boy
some cousins around the table and me making a stupid face and arm gesture
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Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
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7:04 am - oh what a beautiful morning
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I went to sleep at 7:45 pm and woke up at 4:30 in the morning. I did some stuff online and then watched a re run of the Project Runway I missed because I was asleep. While commercials ran, I turned around and watched the sunrise. Now I am ready for school, more awake and alert than ever.
I never want this jetlag to end.
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Sunday, February 19th, 2006
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11:02 pm - credit to vanessa and kristin for the following pictures
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I (as in just me on the left but how hot is this picture?)
get to go to Israel tomorrow with: (and not alex chaloff)
and we are going to shnuggle:
and dance!:
I (and hopefully he too if he doesnt die) will be back Tuesday the 28th! HAVE A GREAT BREAK EVERYONE!!!!!
current mood:  tired
current music: rebel prince, rufus wainwright
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Thursday, February 16th, 2006
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11:48 pm - you must be my soul sista
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Watching America's Next Top Model actually makes me feel so glamorous and "fierce" as Tyra Banks so annoyingly puts it. Then I get up and realize I'm 5 ft tall. oh well...;)Im so pathetic.
Here are some questions I have been pondering all night: How does one direct if theyve never been directed themselves? How does one direct people to do something they have never done themselves? How does one teach something they have never experienced themselves?
I hate that her play sounds so good. Bitch cunt.
current mood:  pensive
current music: Speed of Sound, Coldplay
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Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
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11:19 pm - all is fair in love
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I AM SO SO HUNGRY and also SO SO in love.
but also just starving.
current mood:  hungry
current music: and i love her
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Thursday, February 9th, 2006
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12:46 pm - quick update
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I havent been posting very often but I got my first acceptance letter today and so I think that is reason to update. I am very happy:) It was from Drexel and while I dont really want to go there, it sure is nice to know I'm going somewhere.
Israel with Jesse on a week from Monday- CANT WAIT :):)
current mood: calm
current music: The Bends (the song)- Radiohead
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Thursday, January 5th, 2006
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1:05 pm
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This is nice, so I want to do it too:
Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.
Do it even if youve already commented on others:)
current mood:  confused
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Monday, December 19th, 2005
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6:06 pm - finally got this to work
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Top Commenters on ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) shirbir's LiveJournal
( 11-71 )
Total Commenters: 71
Total Comments: 646
Report generated 12/19/2005 6:04:40 PM by scrapdog's LJ Comment Stats Wizard 1.6
current mood: tired
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Monday, November 21st, 2005
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11:18 pm - thanks to ariella, i have something to do cause i cant fall asleep
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doing this made me feel like i was singing that passover song echadddd me yodea echad! ani yodea....
TEN FIRSTS
First Best Friend: Tamar
First Screen Name: qtpa2tpi868
First Pet: Bubbles-- oh wait when I was 5 we had Walley the cat
First Piercing: one ear, threw a tantrum from the pain, next ear 3 years later
First Crush: I think it was Connor Somerville in 4th grade. EW.
First CD: Alanis Morisette- Jagged Little Pill
First Car: my 94 Camry whose name is Darla
First Stuffed animal: dunno
First Love: boo
NINE LASTS
Last Beverage: water
Last Car ride: from school
Last Movie Seen: does endless amounts of sex and the city count?
Last Phone Call: becky
Last Cd Played: my cousin's mix for me with israeli songs
Last Bubble Bath: last week Last time you Cried: probably yesterday
Last thing you ate: tootsie rolls:) Last bad thing you did: handed in a shitty project to B
EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: yes
Have you ever been arrested: no
Have you ever skinny dipped: yepp, and not just once
Have you ever been on tv: no
Have you ever kissed someone: yes
Have you ever cheated: not what i consider cheating- no no no
Have you ever been in love: yes
Have you ever been in a car accident: yes
SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. tank top
2. jenna's pj pants
3. bra
4. long sleeved pink shirt
5. slippers
6. bracelets from relj and v-dawg
7. necklace from bizzy+gabe
SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. woke up to awesome SAT scores
2. got really good grades all day
3.including a 102 on my psych test!
4. watched sex and the city
5. basically finished extra-curric chart
6. fun talk with mark giglio
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. jesse
2. meeshel+beckerz
3. nafaniel and the trichitilamania observing
4. sex and the city
5. chocolateee
FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO
1. jesse
2. becky
3. michelle
4. everyone else- hello i tell everyone everything
THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: white
2. Hot or Cold: hot
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. backpack somewhere exotic
2. start and run the best fucking hotel in manhattan
ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. skipping classes in high school
BY THE WAY: PUBLIC THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY FOR AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
current mood: tired
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